The year I skipped a year

The year....the number.....the vision we never saw coming....

#ART... 

I found an era in my life when the beginning of days, my days would seemingly have been given meaning. 

I stumbled upon laughter I felt was purpose but within me, knew it could never be joy or happiness. 

I found enough adventure to make me a man of sorts. 

I had days in my life when I just knew I was headed somewhere, guided only by hope. 

I found fear, truly I did, and cowered, truly I did. 

I found ghosts and I ran. 

I saw spirits of parts of me dead and I ran, ran for what I had left of my life. 

It was all at a time in my life when I should have had purpose, a time when I should have been a figure. 

I had enough to have called my own. Yet, I gained nothing I did not already have

I lost nothing that wasn't even mine... 

Woe unto all that came my way, the friends, the wine, the status, the love I was blinded by. 

Woe unto the education I seek; knowledge almost ruined my life. 

I should have been a prophet when I foresaw that heartbeat that told me I could die, unable ever, to attain the full heights of immunity. 

The world would have called me a sage, had I taken three steps back, the day I embarked on that journey. That I regret, is my greatest regret. 

The fear I found is what truly haunts me and gives me fear. 

I saw the reason I was given life and I ran and cowered. I acquired enough that people would have called me a man, yet, all I wanted and still want, is to lose it all. 

I will lose it all, everything I gained. Call me a bird

I wish, only that I can be a phoenix. 

Call me a man, allow me this moment, to be like Dionysus. 

Let these words mark not my death, but a death, a death of all I thought I gained. 

A death of all I thought I acquired. 

I want nothing, have nothing, will lose nothing. 

My life is only now a journey...

A journey to fulfilment. And though I wish I skipped a year, I wouldn't trade the lessons learned for anything. 

So cheers to a better next year.

Cos even though this year taught me to frown at planning ahead, I dare not lose hope. 

Who's with me on this one? 

#ART.