Let's try it this way:
On the one hand, love from family is obligatory; parents would be doing their children a criminal disservice by not loving them sincerely. You do not know or understand why you love your siblings so much, no matter what, but you just do.
On the other hand, love from your "true" friends, partners, spouses is earned because—why would anybody decide to drop their guards, their inhibitions, for one human being? Why would anybody look at you and decide: I choose this one? How in the world are you worth it?
The thought process would be: how can you compare the love of family to the love of seemingly outsiders?
That is exactly the thing—your true family has known you since the very first day, and they have always chosen to stick with you no matter what. Yet think about it—a total stranger takes one look at you after you were born and decides they want you in their life as a friend, partner, spouse... for life. Don’t you think it’s mind-boggling?
I had a discussion with a friend the other day—a psychologist—and she said, “Love as a feeling pales in comparison to truly liking someone.”
Love from family is obligatory; genuine love only comes from outside.
I don’t expect anybody to agree with me. It is, after all, just a thought process.
Try and reason with me. You, as a parent, are extremely stupid if you have a child you cannot love. You are a bad person if you cannot accept your sibling wholeheartedly. I know there are rare situations, but let's follow a linear path a bit.
If this makes no sense, let's try and look at people who adopt children. Let's look at people who assist strangers. Marriage, as an institution alone, is the most insane thing to ever exist to me... All these situations, yet, intrigue me.
Take your minds away from the emotional aspect of this all, and let us be logical.
I challenge you to think logically and critically, and try and look into it. You cannot truly love someone you don't like. Family members have their flaws, and that is why many families break. Human beings generally are... human beings—flawed—and that is why relationships fail.
We all know that every family has its secrets, but then there are things you will tell your best friend, for instance, that nobody in your family ever has to know.
I want to form a disjoint now and say: once the people you like become family, your love for each other becomes obligatory.
Love is a beautiful thing, but in my honest opinion, an obligation. Don’t throw the word around without understanding it and the depths of commitment and being intentional.
Love is not just a feeling but also a choice that requires a certain level of affection and respect for whoever you're "throwing" it at.
Saying you love someone is all nice and good... assertive, I think—but in my honest opinion, if you cannot like a total stranger, your love for your family is just a duty you're performing.
Just be a decent human being.
Love is obligation—a simple declaration of affection. Liking someone takes guts.
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